Teaching.

I feel energized, invigorated, in love.

I feel content, at peace, and like I am right where God wants me to be.

I feel tired, and warn out, but hopeful--this hard work will eventually pay off.

A few of you know, that during these three months filled with full-time school, and part-time work, there has also been a lot on our home front, too. 

Death. Brokenness. Division.  Poor health. Controversy. 

These things have changed the way I look at my life.  My focus on Nicholas and me, and our happiness, is now stronger than it's ever been.  Above all else, I am a wife, and hopefully one day a mother.  This is the goal I work towards, every day.

I have another goal, too.  A desire that is so strong I wear it on my sleeve every day:  
I want to be a teacher.

A teacher like the ones I had in high school, who were positive role models to me.  Who encouraged me to be my best.  Who saw something in that young, 17 year old redhead, that she never saw in herself.

For the last 3 months, I have been blessed to fulfill that desire.  I may not get paid, it may only be an internship, but I am a teacher...a student teacher.   Not only do I get the pleasure of working with students every day, but I get to teach the most relevant (and might I add important) subject: U.S. Government.  To top it all off, my semester long internship aligned perfectly with elections!  It's so much fun!

 As a class, we have participated in informal debates.  We have discovered our personal ideologies.  We have watched every debate, studied history, primary source documents, and written in journals about how we would critically solve problems our nation faces (like 4 hours lines at the polls!). 

We are just one class in America.  I am just one person...one story.  But to me, it feels big.

Because this is my story.

I don't often talk about my experience at the high school.  I have thought too many times before that I knew I wanted to do something for a career, and then it turns out I was wrong.  Remember that time I thought I wanted to be a hairdresser,  a barista, a Supreme Court Justice, a lobbyist (I still want to do this) or a photographer?  Man, I was all over the drawing board.

Teaching, is different though.  Don't mistake what I am about to say.  Teaching is not what I have always wanted to do.  It is probably not even what I would be best at.  I might make a better lawyer, or waitress...who knows.  But teaching, is what I feel called to do.

I have a lot of non-religious friends who might read this blog and disregard that statement.  But because this is my blog, and I am allowed to write without a filter, I will say that again: Teaching is what I feel God is calling me to do.  Not because I will be the best teacher to ever exist, or because I have the patience of an angel, or the content-knowledge of a genius   I feel called to teach because I have an overwhelming passion for learning.  Because I can relate to the kid who has a hard home life.  Because I am realistic, yet optimistic, about our government system.  

Teaching is rewarding.  Every single day, it is rewarding.

I get to see fiery eyes when a controversial topic comes up, and the kid who barely ever says a word, raises his hand and politely speaks his mind.  I get to see kids learn the importance of tolerance (something I wish more people in this nation had, after seeing the disrespectful words of some adults who were upset about last night's election results).  I am learning, daily, something new.  I love being surrounded by other educators, being challenged daily in some element of my intellect, and creatively constructing fun lessons for engaged learning and optimal student growth.


Someday I will probably read this over again, and realize that I sound naive  or inexperienced.  Or maybe I will look back and remind myself of the passion I have now for a job I so badly desire, a job that may or may not be available to me in the future.  Until then, I know that everything in life is all a part of some greater plan.  The fun, hard, and exciting time that I have had in my internship has been so worth the wait...the 5.5 years of school, the endless dollars spent on education, and all the trials and tribulations that it took my sweet little family to get here.  

Graduation "round 2" in 1 month!