The Waiting

If I could count the times I am asked each day...

"Any news on the adoption?"

It's the clerk at the grocery store, the student, the parent, the distant cousin, the lady at church...

And they ask, daily.  "Any news"?

These well-meaning friends just want to show that they care...that they're excited for us to be a mother and father.

Their words linger.  As if I could answer them if there was news. 

But no, there's no news. 

16 months of waiting and no news.

To be honest.  Some days it stings to say that out loud.  It burns every time I say "no, we are just waiting for a birth mother to choose us."  Then, I have the opportunity to convince us both, myself and the conversation partner, that every minute of waiting will be worth it in the end.  I tell them that this waiting is not purposeless.

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Most days, the waiting is easy.  We walk in to our beautiful green nursery... I let my fingers linger on the crib, and I rock in the chair where we will someday feed our baby.

I flip through the pages of the baby's picture books we've purchased here and there.  I envision reading to our child the stories written on the pages.

I pray. I pray for the pregnant mothers in our country who feel helpless and alone, who feel that they're carrying an unwanted child.  I pray that they could see how many people nationwide long to parent.  I pray that the parents who don't want to care for their biological child, would be given the necessary resources, and for the hearts of adoptive families to be evident to them.  I pray that each of these women find an adoptive family they can trust and connect with.

 

While most days the waiting is easy, there are days here and there when it hurts. 

There are days we gently wipe away each other's tears.  Days when we have to be the rock for others while we're crumbling ourselves.  Days when we have to regroup in the bathroom after a worship service as we sing these words with all our hearts...

"And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now."


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It wasn't until last Sunday, that I had felt thankful for our wait.  Thankful.  Thankful for all of the opportunities we've had in this time of waiting.

Because you see, I realized that God has done some amazing things in our lives in the last 16 months.

We've been introduced with new opportunities for leadership within our community, developing our skills and ability to reach others.

We've traveled and been on incredible adventures together.  Washington DC--Disneyland--Glacier National Park--Grand Teton National Park--Yellowstone National Park--Salt Lake City--Green Bay, WI--Seaside, OR--Chicago, IL--Baltimore, MD--Jackson, WY-- Grand Junction, CO--The Gorge, WA--3 weddings in McCall, ID. 



We signed up for me to take students to Africa!

We learned how to love each other more deeply.  Our marriage is the strongest its ever been, despite the obstacles we've faced.  Maybe because of the obstacles we have faced.

We invested in land on which to someday build our forever home.

We have fostered relationships with others.  We've renewed old friendships, strengthened already existing friendships, and met some absolutely wonderful new people in the last year and a half.  Our baby will be offered so much more love than just the 2 of us could give, thanks to the amazing people in our life.

We've learned to prioritize, and the power of saying "no" to some things.  While our life of adventure and service is so important to us, the greatest adventure of all will parenting, and the best way we can serve is by loving and raising a child. 


Any news? I guess there is.  We're still waiting.  But the waiting is helping us grow.