Soy Voluntaria: My account of the Panamanian Orphanage

"We make a living by what we do, but we make a life by what we give."
    Winston Churchill 

I have a heart for children...particularly tiny ones, who are still figuring out how to put one foot in front of the other to walk over to their toys. There's such an earnestness about children around 2 years old. After 2, kids stop wearing their heart on their sleeve as much; they begin to understand personal space boundaries (and let's be honest, there's nothing better than a little baby cuddling up to you, transmitting their love from their tiny little hands straight to your heart).

I am one of those weird girls that's always known she's wanted a family. I get warm fuzzy feelings whenever I see a mommy pushing her baby in a stroller, or when the little girl sitting on her dad's lap makes my day complete by playing peek-a-boo with me on the flight from Spokane all the way to Seattle.

Toddlers are simply the best.

As someone that has always wanted a family of my own, it's hard for me to grasp the concept of knowing that there are so many children around the world, who have been given up by their biological parents and are still awaiting their chance at adoption...babies with out mommies and daddies to push them around in strollers, or sing them lullabys, or take them to Disneyland.

Children who are not told each and every day that they are loved unconditionally. 

For those children, my heart absolutely breaks. This is what drove me to serve in Panama City.
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There are four orphanages within a short distance to Panama City. I had the pleasure of volunteering in just one small house at one of those orphanages. I volunteered at Hogar San Jose de Malambo--a Catholic orphanage that has been open for over a century. There must have been atleast 8 different houses on the property. The orphans were split up in different houses by age. Once boys reached a certain maturity (maybe 12), they were moved to an all-male orphanage, and girls were permitted to stay on the grounds to be cared for until they were 18.

The grounds of this facility were absolutely huge. I actually got lost once (imagine that!). There was a large playground where the kids could play during recreational hours, and a large school and arena for the older children.

I was at La Casita de Los Bebes!

Here I had the priviledge of helping out two amazing women, and a couple other staff, along with 18 babies under the age of two. Almira, Jennifer Nicole, Angel, Sara, Ignacio, Cesar, Abe, Surry, and Isabel are some of the children who I will never forget. 

  

These children are the ones whom I spent the majority of my time with; reading them stories, changing their clothes, helping them go potty, playing at the playground, feeding them, washing them, putting them down for naps, and teaching them to high-five were among the daily duties!

While I thought it was the children that I was going there to help, I later found out it was really the women who worked there that needed my help the most.  These incredible and selfless women, two ladies in their mid-forties, lived in the Casita.  They woke up every day at 5 am with the babies, and did not have a chance to sleep until 10pm when the children were at last down for the night.  They each had one day off per week.  In the 6 days and endless hours of service they provided to the children each week, they were all-stars.  

Imagine if all of us were so selfless with our time...so inclined to dedicate our lives to the betterment of others.

My mental picture of what volunteering at an orphanage would be like included softly rocking babies to sleep, and quiet story time where I would read Bible stories. 

 The reality was quite different; these ladies have their hands FULL!  I wish I had the writing ability to explain in words how chaotic it could be at times, with 18 children under the age of 3.  Taking off shoes and throwing them, going number 2 in our panties, and climbing up every piece of furniture to get a hold of objects intentionally set out of reach were among the chaotic moments. 

One day I was outside with a group of 6 children, and some Social Workers were leaving the premise.  As my back was turned to the gate, holding one of the kids in my arms and waving goodbye to the nice people, 3 other children got a hold of the rope which tied the gate.

Three two-year-olds took off! And who knew they could run so quickly?  Splitting off in different directions and running all over the grounds! At first it was kind of funny--the pure joy they got from escaping their normal routine.  But after about 10 minutes of cat and mouse chase in 97 degree heat, running around and shouting "necessita ayuda por favor!" to anyone who might be able to help...I began to get a little frustrated.  Eventually I got all the kids back, returning to the house out of breath and dripping with sweat.  

This routine that they were escaping from though, is what kept the house in check.  It was the most important element to the women's sanity.  The routine was exactly the same, each and every day, so the kids always knew what to expect and what was expected of them.  

5:00-6:00am: Kids wake up
6:00-7:00am: Each kid gets a bath, their hair combed, an adorable matching outfit put on, shoes on, and then they are sent down stairs. Once downstairs they eat breakfast.
Breakfast: First food, then one cup of water, milk.
Play time--3 hours
Pick up toys, wash hands.  Babies put in high chairs, older kids sit at tables.
Lunch: Food, one cup of water, 2 cups of juice.  If they don't eat their food, no juice.
Nap time: Go upstairs, go potty, change in to pampers, go to crib.  Each child has their own stuffed animal they sleep with.  Wait with children until they fall asleep.  Sleep one hour.
Change them, put on shoes, back downstairs.
Snack time: basically another lunch. 1 cup water, juice. 

At this time I left each day, usually around 4.  But as you can see there is so much care-taking involved in just the first 11 hours of the day!  Then these women had another 6 hours before they got a chance to rest for themselves.  Incredible!

What I learned over the course of the week, is that while I went to help the children, it was these women who needed my help the most.  They are overworked, and have the biggest hearts.  When they found out that I was an American volunteer there for several days, and not just one day and some picture opportunities, you could see the joy all over their face.  They thanked me for my help, but also thanked me for my effort to only speak Spanish with them.  While the kids were napping, I had the pleasure of getting to know them very well.  We had half hour conversations in Spanish about the children, the need for more adoptions, about my life in Idaho, and about our common bond as Christians.  It was awesome!

Someday I would love to get a team together and go relieve them of their duties for a week.  Just send them all on a week long vacation!  How neat would that be?

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While the orphanage was often chaotic, and even more so exhausting, I fell in love with some of those tiny little hands and giant hearts.

I had a book I read the kids each day, I think it was called "Animal Train".  We'd form a train, and each time a new animal would get on the train in the book, we'd all get aboard and sing "chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-CHOO-CHOO!"  All day the kids would ask over and over, "Choo-choo?".  It became our little thing we did together, and it made my heart glad to act like a big goof ball and let the kids follow suite.  The women who worked there probably thought I was crazy, they'd laugh and stand by watching as I made my train noises.  

Train! "Choo Choo"

There are memories from my experience at Malambo that I will keep forever.  Such as the moment when I arrived at La Casita, and there were 4 children instantly hanging on each of my limbs, smiling, and touching my red hair.  They overheard me asking another volunteer how to say "high five" in Spanish, and throughout the rest of the week they'd walk around saying "hi-fi, hi-fi?" to me and the other children.  It was the sweetest thing.

Or even more memorable was the day I was changing one of the girls.  She and I had a pretty strong bond after spending many hours together that week.  She had just woken up from a  nap, so her eyes were sleepy, and her hair was everywhere.  I said, you have such pretty skin! She smiled from ear to ear.  Then, I stood her up and put on some sparkly pink shoes to match her all pink outfit.  "Te amo chiquita" (I love ya little lady) I said, and she wrapped her arms around me and gave me the biggest hug an 18 month old could manage.  I wonder how often she's been told those words...how often she's heard that she is loved?  She stole the biggest chunk of my heart in that moment, and if I could have taken her home with me that very day, to care for her and tell her that she's loved from that day forward, I would have. 

Over lunch I heard this girl's story.  Her parents lived in a place where there were  not the basic amenities to raise a child.  They were very poor, with no running water, no secure shelter, no plumbing.  For that reason, they gave this baby to another woman to care for, asking her to take her off of their hands.  The woman who was gifted this sweet little girl tried to provide care to her for a few weeks, and couldn't afford it any longer.  She dropped her off at the orphanage before 8 weeks of age.  She's been there ever since.

My eyes filled with tears.  I wanted so badly for this girl, and every other child living here, to have a home of their own.  

An hour later I had to leave.  It was my last day there.  But she, (among others), left an enormous mark on my soul.

Fortunately, there are women who have given their lives to caring for these kiddos, and countless nuns who have devoted their lives to the entire orphanage overall through out the last century.  This orphanage is so blessed to have them! If anyone would like contact information to go and help here in the future, I am happy to connect you with the right people.  I also asked for a list of needs that Hogar San Jose de Malambo has, and they are as follows:  Wipes, Diapers, Hair ties for the little girls, and soap. These are the items they are always running out of.



It's hard to wrap up the way I feel after serving a week here.  All I know is that I am so glad I could help, and by helping I allowed myself to gain some invaluable perspective.

Today friends, I leave you with these words:

"Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't even have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve... You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love..."
    Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.